Idle Thoughts
* Im noticing a trend of women calling me 'love', this is beyond the reasoning of my male brain although I do have a slight feeling of annoyance. The other day a woman called me 'darling', if I'd called her darling she'd probably have tried to chin me. This disturbance in the force worries me.
* A woman came in earlier called 'Zena', what sort of shite name is that? Zelda or Xena I would have understood, extremely sad and geeky but at least understandable. Zena is a totally wank name.
* Yesterday this hippy wanker came in, you could tell his main source of income were mummy and daddy, just trust me on this. Anyways he's hippying it up and this mildly attractive woman asks me a question, I reply with 'Just a second, I'll deal with this dude and be right with you'. You could see the conflict on his face, his facade meant that he had to be good natured about being called a dude but you can tell that he was infuriated, the pathetic shadow of his father that he was.
* We all know we're going to die (Unless we've got some immortals reading, if so, where do I sign up?), so why is it almost no one plans a decent funeral? The first three letters of funeral spell 'fun', isn't that a big enough clue that you should have a laugh? Me, im thinking everyone has to spend a weekend playing a huge came of cluedo at a pre-booked mansion, the cause turning out to be that I killed myself when Madonna came on the radio (very likely). Failing that possibly a themed funeral where everyone has to dress up as their favorite front man of the nineties (I shudder to think how many Liam Gallaghers and Axel Roses will turn up).
* This morning the Panda bombarded me with some of his cologne, 'Have a wiff' he says and now I smell like the perfume counter at Debenhams.
* Got round to reading some comics the other day, including the Ultimate Spider-man annual, am I the only one thinking that Peter Parker and Kitty Pryde could be one of the coolest comic book couples ever?
* Why is it that when you walk into a video arcade you become obsessed with a game you wouldn't normally go out of your way to buy? I must have spent a good twenty Euros on Time Crisis 3 this weekend! *Shakes fist*
* The last time I was in a restraunt there was on the menu 'French Fried Potato Slices', I asked the waiter 'Are those chips?', he answered 'Yes'. Why the fuck don't they just put chips? It would be a lot easier and we'd all be a bit more honest about what we're eating.
* A woman came in earlier called 'Zena', what sort of shite name is that? Zelda or Xena I would have understood, extremely sad and geeky but at least understandable. Zena is a totally wank name.
* Yesterday this hippy wanker came in, you could tell his main source of income were mummy and daddy, just trust me on this. Anyways he's hippying it up and this mildly attractive woman asks me a question, I reply with 'Just a second, I'll deal with this dude and be right with you'. You could see the conflict on his face, his facade meant that he had to be good natured about being called a dude but you can tell that he was infuriated, the pathetic shadow of his father that he was.
* We all know we're going to die (Unless we've got some immortals reading, if so, where do I sign up?), so why is it almost no one plans a decent funeral? The first three letters of funeral spell 'fun', isn't that a big enough clue that you should have a laugh? Me, im thinking everyone has to spend a weekend playing a huge came of cluedo at a pre-booked mansion, the cause turning out to be that I killed myself when Madonna came on the radio (very likely). Failing that possibly a themed funeral where everyone has to dress up as their favorite front man of the nineties (I shudder to think how many Liam Gallaghers and Axel Roses will turn up).
* This morning the Panda bombarded me with some of his cologne, 'Have a wiff' he says and now I smell like the perfume counter at Debenhams.
* Got round to reading some comics the other day, including the Ultimate Spider-man annual, am I the only one thinking that Peter Parker and Kitty Pryde could be one of the coolest comic book couples ever?
* Why is it that when you walk into a video arcade you become obsessed with a game you wouldn't normally go out of your way to buy? I must have spent a good twenty Euros on Time Crisis 3 this weekend! *Shakes fist*
* The last time I was in a restraunt there was on the menu 'French Fried Potato Slices', I asked the waiter 'Are those chips?', he answered 'Yes'. Why the fuck don't they just put chips? It would be a lot easier and we'd all be a bit more honest about what we're eating.
