Are you up to the test!?

It's weird how things come back to you. Sometimes something from years ago that seemed so trivial can just pop right back into your brain leaving you with a 'Fuck me, I'd forgotten about that' state of mind. I wonder how much stuff is never remembered.

This morning something came back to me from probably three years ago, could have been longer ago though. I'd gone out clubbing (I know, I know but there wasn't much else to do), I wasn't having that good a time, as what usually happens when I go to a club - I end up feeling totally alien from everyone else. Not that it's necessarily anyones fault but my own, everyone else was dressed quite smart and I was in my usual scruffy attire, I was wearing a Bluntman and Chronic t-shirt for christsakes.

Anyways, there I was stood on the edge of the dance floor, looking awkward and feeling more so when a girl came over and asked if I wanted to dance. I can't tell you what she looked like, only a vague images comes to mind but I remember she smiled quite a bit. I said sure, I mean, what else are you going to say?

Now I dance like im having a fit, but she didn't comment on it and said nice things which I can't now remember. I remember though that they made me feel good. As a song ended a friend came over, something had happened I think, or possibly everyone was just going, anyway without saying a word I followed them out of the club without a backward glance.

It was an especially shit thing I did then. I didn't know the girls name, I didn't even say thank you or goodbye. I don't know why but that came back to me this morning and I felt like an utter dickhead. She raised my morale at a time when it was at a low and showed genuine human kindness and her reward was nothing, less than nothing.

I know the chances of her every reading this are next to nothing but I'd just like to say -

Thank you and im sorry.