Should I Hit This Kid With My Cricket Bat? *The Moral Crisis*
Last night I was buying a cricket bat, not for myself, as some of you may have gathered im not exactly the sporty type. I was buying said cricket bat for a friend of a friend as a gift, I was looking through the bats looking for one that would be the right size for the dude, trying to gauge it was harder than I thought.
So the scenes set, im looking through cricket bats in a sports shop minding my own business. Nearby in the golf section these two nippers are causing bedlam, knocking over clubs, generally being a fucking nuisance while their dads in fucking la la land trying to get himself a discount Beckham shirt.
I think i've got the bat I want, i've got it by the handle and am reasonably sure it should be right, meanwhile these two little swines have drifted over in my direction, one of them grabs a random bat and runs off swinging it about, the other one grabs for the one in my hand, the actual one im holding by the handle that i've been looking at for the last ten minutes. I says to him 'Sorry little man, I want this one', he grabs for another bat and actually holds it in a manner as to smack me with it and with an expression on his face to back it up. Things have suddenly taken an unexpected turn.
I've not yet said how small this kid is, he's about a third my size so it kinda seems funny in a weird way but I was stumped as to what to do next. I could easily jab the kid in the stomach with the bat i've got, the shite would have crumpled up like a bad suit. But it wouldn't exactly look good would it, battering some 9 year old with a cricket bat is the kind of thing that follows you around, so I honestly had no idea what to do. I decided on doing the same and lifted the bat up in a semi-threatening manner, in doing so it's at the level of his head. The kid must have had a rudimentary grasp of logic as he drops the bat and runs off.
I've banged on about how bad kids are before but for fuck sakes this is a new low. Im having to defend myself in a shop against a lone 9 year old! What's worse is that the law is totally on my attackers side. If he had flung the bat and split my head open the Police wouldn't have touched him whereas if I left so much as a slight bruise on him I'd probably have ended up doing two years, god help me if the neighbours found out about it, they'd most likely burn my house down.
I know it's a little thing and nothing really happened but it got me thinking how quickly you can get into deep shit through no fault of your own and how fucked up some of these kids are. You don't need that shit on a Monday afternoon. To be honest if he'd hit me I think I would have hit him back, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself regardless but god knows what would have happened next.
So the scenes set, im looking through cricket bats in a sports shop minding my own business. Nearby in the golf section these two nippers are causing bedlam, knocking over clubs, generally being a fucking nuisance while their dads in fucking la la land trying to get himself a discount Beckham shirt.
I think i've got the bat I want, i've got it by the handle and am reasonably sure it should be right, meanwhile these two little swines have drifted over in my direction, one of them grabs a random bat and runs off swinging it about, the other one grabs for the one in my hand, the actual one im holding by the handle that i've been looking at for the last ten minutes. I says to him 'Sorry little man, I want this one', he grabs for another bat and actually holds it in a manner as to smack me with it and with an expression on his face to back it up. Things have suddenly taken an unexpected turn.
I've not yet said how small this kid is, he's about a third my size so it kinda seems funny in a weird way but I was stumped as to what to do next. I could easily jab the kid in the stomach with the bat i've got, the shite would have crumpled up like a bad suit. But it wouldn't exactly look good would it, battering some 9 year old with a cricket bat is the kind of thing that follows you around, so I honestly had no idea what to do. I decided on doing the same and lifted the bat up in a semi-threatening manner, in doing so it's at the level of his head. The kid must have had a rudimentary grasp of logic as he drops the bat and runs off.
I've banged on about how bad kids are before but for fuck sakes this is a new low. Im having to defend myself in a shop against a lone 9 year old! What's worse is that the law is totally on my attackers side. If he had flung the bat and split my head open the Police wouldn't have touched him whereas if I left so much as a slight bruise on him I'd probably have ended up doing two years, god help me if the neighbours found out about it, they'd most likely burn my house down.
I know it's a little thing and nothing really happened but it got me thinking how quickly you can get into deep shit through no fault of your own and how fucked up some of these kids are. You don't need that shit on a Monday afternoon. To be honest if he'd hit me I think I would have hit him back, sometimes you have to stand up for yourself regardless but god knows what would have happened next.
