Have You Got You're Christmas Shopping Done?
Rants about Christmas shopping have been done to death, be that as it may Im going to do one anyway, consider this a nail in St.Nicks coffin.For you fortunate sociopaths who don't have to buy gifts or cards or any other bollocks for people let me say this,
You don't know you're fucking born.
It's a right fucking hassle getting about, fuckers everywhere trying to decide what ill thought out gift to get those unfortunate enough to know them. I got into the City early this morning as I'd been at a dinner party the night before (yes me at a dinner party, but that's a story for another time) and thought I'd make good use of the time getting some gifts.
Well, it was somewhat productive, got some Christmas cards in Borders, in the queue for the checkout though the woman ahead of me asked the cashier about this ghastly toy that was on sale, the conversation was so retarded I decided to preserve it for prosperity.
'What this do then?' *Looking at the toy*
'Oh, it looks nice'
"Oh, when you look at it?'
'Well, errrr, all the time really' *Looking a bit confused*
'Oh wow, isn't that great'
These are the sort of idiots that come out of the woodwork at Christmas time.
On the gift side of things I struggled quite a bit, because you've got to think of something the person likes, then you've got to think of the sort of price range you're working in, not to mention wrapping ramifications afterward. *Sigh* I wish you could just give people money, which brings me onto my next little moan.
Gift vouchers used to be just for things like books and were quite specialised so in a way it was quite a good gift, you have a friend who reads a lot, you buy them a book voucher, it's all good, they've got some cash off their next book and you've shown in a way that you know a little bit about them. These days though every man and his dog sells vouchers (I fear to think what those would for), you can get HMV coupons, I like HMV, you can buy anything in there, games, music, books, posters, dvds and more besides. This means though that getting someone a HMV coupon is pretty much the same as giving them cash, so whats been done is that money, which is good everywhere has been substituted for something which is only good in one store. Doesn't make much sense does it.
I know what im going to get the Panda, a giant bottle of Whiskey, that should keep him happy until Boxing Day, well, probably sometime Christmas afternoon but he'll probably fall asleep and not wake up until Boxing Day.
I wish good luck to those Christmas shopping, I recommend giving people a really good sharp elbowing that usually moves them out of your way. And to those who are buying me a present I'll be very grateful for anything I receive but if you buy me a Coldplay album I will not see the funny side, you however will the see nasty side of a Pitbull that's just been kicked very hard.
