For Fucks Sake!
I've had this guy coming to the the test centre for a while trying to do a certain test and to be honest I think he's fucking cursed. It never goes right, ever.
The first time round there was a huge problem in Europe which had disabled the servers so his test couldn't be uploaded. Since then theres been constant problems with booking the test which I don't want to get into, he did get a seat in Manchester but something went wrong, anyways today he came here to sit it again, he'd checked with the testing people to make sure the test had gone along to us okay and had conatacted myself to make sure things were okay here at the centre. Everything was set to finally get this guy on with the test.
What a fucking fiasco.
So I check the test station, the server, making sure everythings ok because I know how pissed of this guy will be if something goes wrong again. He turns up, I get him started and it has'nt been five seconds before he's calling me over, there's a problem with the test, it won't start.
I couldn't fucking beleive it, I tried every trick I could think of, then sending out e-mails to all the IT lads asking for support. They come up and have a gander, no ideas, a fair bit of time has past by now and the bloke is understandbly annoyed. The final solution (no I didn't kill the bloke), I ring up the test providers in Amsterdam, you probably have this dodgy image of them knowing they're in Amsterdam and you'd be right to do so, half of them can't speak English and the other half are mental.
So after waiting on hold for a good 20 minutes (Did I mention that I was running the rest of the centre while doing this? No? We'll I fucking was and it wasn't easy), this old geezer comes on the phone and he reckons it's something to do with the region setting of the computer (for some wanky reason they won't work unless they're set to the American time zone). I go through the mess of exiting the test software, then looking at the region settings, hmmmm, it's allready on America, I tell the old dude this and he gets me to alter some language settings then restart over, I do as he says, no luck.
Now the guys crawling up the walls, it's taking a fair bit of work to keep him calm as we go through the long process of uploading the test afresh. A few of the IT lads were actually hanging about, mainly because they were enjoying the skive but also a few of them fancied themselves as bouncers, reckoning they'd have a chance to knock this bloke out when he totally snapped.
So we start over and wouldn't you know it, the test still won't run. We've spent so long with this that there isn't time to run it in the morning session, I break this news to him and his reaction was to demand a rebooking of the test, I asked one of the IT blokes if they'd cover while I wasn't there, he agrees. Ok then, a rebooking it is.
I phone the testing people back up again and am on hold for about 15 minutes (they're hold music is pretty good I must say), then this really high strung sounding woman comes on, she checks into what's been going on and says she'll have a word with the old dude I spoke with before. Another 10 minutes pass, the bloke has got a rabid look in his eyes and a few IT lads are cracking their knuckles (just so you understand, a lot of the IT guys here are fucking huge, two of them do boxing), high strung woman comes back on and tells me;
Oh, I have spoken with my colleague and we actually had an e-mail about this, this particular exam has global problems, it would not be possible to run it today or in the foreseeable future.
I can't think of a time when I wanted to yell 'For fucks sake!' as much as I did right then. On telling this to the bloke he went fucking mental, I gave him the phone and I let him duke it out with high strung woman for a bit. In the end the loon from Amsterdam won and the guy left looking quite dispirited.
Two fundamental questions really need asking,
1. Why did they let him book the test if he couldn't sit it?
2. Why did no one tell me (especially the old bastard who first came one the phone) that the test wouldn't run?
The answer to both questions is that the muppets in Amsterdam couldn't care less what happens over here.
*Sigh* If you're thinking of working in a testing centre, don't.
The first time round there was a huge problem in Europe which had disabled the servers so his test couldn't be uploaded. Since then theres been constant problems with booking the test which I don't want to get into, he did get a seat in Manchester but something went wrong, anyways today he came here to sit it again, he'd checked with the testing people to make sure the test had gone along to us okay and had conatacted myself to make sure things were okay here at the centre. Everything was set to finally get this guy on with the test.
What a fucking fiasco.
So I check the test station, the server, making sure everythings ok because I know how pissed of this guy will be if something goes wrong again. He turns up, I get him started and it has'nt been five seconds before he's calling me over, there's a problem with the test, it won't start.
I couldn't fucking beleive it, I tried every trick I could think of, then sending out e-mails to all the IT lads asking for support. They come up and have a gander, no ideas, a fair bit of time has past by now and the bloke is understandbly annoyed. The final solution (no I didn't kill the bloke), I ring up the test providers in Amsterdam, you probably have this dodgy image of them knowing they're in Amsterdam and you'd be right to do so, half of them can't speak English and the other half are mental.
So after waiting on hold for a good 20 minutes (Did I mention that I was running the rest of the centre while doing this? No? We'll I fucking was and it wasn't easy), this old geezer comes on the phone and he reckons it's something to do with the region setting of the computer (for some wanky reason they won't work unless they're set to the American time zone). I go through the mess of exiting the test software, then looking at the region settings, hmmmm, it's allready on America, I tell the old dude this and he gets me to alter some language settings then restart over, I do as he says, no luck.
Now the guys crawling up the walls, it's taking a fair bit of work to keep him calm as we go through the long process of uploading the test afresh. A few of the IT lads were actually hanging about, mainly because they were enjoying the skive but also a few of them fancied themselves as bouncers, reckoning they'd have a chance to knock this bloke out when he totally snapped.
So we start over and wouldn't you know it, the test still won't run. We've spent so long with this that there isn't time to run it in the morning session, I break this news to him and his reaction was to demand a rebooking of the test, I asked one of the IT blokes if they'd cover while I wasn't there, he agrees. Ok then, a rebooking it is.
I phone the testing people back up again and am on hold for about 15 minutes (they're hold music is pretty good I must say), then this really high strung sounding woman comes on, she checks into what's been going on and says she'll have a word with the old dude I spoke with before. Another 10 minutes pass, the bloke has got a rabid look in his eyes and a few IT lads are cracking their knuckles (just so you understand, a lot of the IT guys here are fucking huge, two of them do boxing), high strung woman comes back on and tells me;
Oh, I have spoken with my colleague and we actually had an e-mail about this, this particular exam has global problems, it would not be possible to run it today or in the foreseeable future.
I can't think of a time when I wanted to yell 'For fucks sake!' as much as I did right then. On telling this to the bloke he went fucking mental, I gave him the phone and I let him duke it out with high strung woman for a bit. In the end the loon from Amsterdam won and the guy left looking quite dispirited.
Two fundamental questions really need asking,
1. Why did they let him book the test if he couldn't sit it?
2. Why did no one tell me (especially the old bastard who first came one the phone) that the test wouldn't run?
The answer to both questions is that the muppets in Amsterdam couldn't care less what happens over here.
*Sigh* If you're thinking of working in a testing centre, don't.
