A Grim Tale - R.L vs The Mongrel
I've been wanting to tell this particular story for a while but with my rantings and distractions it went to the back of my mind. This morning it came back to me and I decided while it was at the forefront of my mind I'd stick it on the blog.
This is a tale told to me by a bloke my family used to know who we'll simply call R.L, he was a nutter and this story is 100% true, it was told to me when I was a young lad and has stayed with me ever since, I've never told this to anyone so it's a blog exclusive.
R.L worked awkward shifts so his sleep was very precious to him, when his next door neighbour got this monster of a dog (it was a mongrel, half Doberman half god knows what) which would never stop fucking barking R.L got annoyed. He went round and asked the neighbour to shut his dog up, the bloke said he'd keep the dog quiet from now on, fair enough.
A week passed and the dog just got fucking worse, so R.L went round again this time warning him that if he didn't shut that dog up he'd take the matter into his own hands, the bloke told R.L to go fuck himself, not a wise move.
The next day that R.L had off work he went and borrowed a van from one of his mates (whenever someone needs to borrow a van it's always a cause for concern), he pulled it up in front of his house, went next door and found the the dog in the back garden, never one to be scared of animals R.L tied a length of rope round the dogs neck and led it into the van.
He then drove down to the canals in Leeds, this was some years ago before the royal armouries was built and all those posh flats, back then it was mainly waste ground. Now R.L worked with metal and the van wasn't empty, he'd brought along a large part of a girder he'd pinched from work.
He tied the other end of the rope which was tied to the dog to the girder and then with all his might (R.L was a big bastard) he lifted the girder and threw it into the canal, the dog was immediately pulled into the water and R.L sat down to watch the bubbles of the beasts last breath. The bastard dog only resurfaced! Although only briefly and then it went under again, this happened four times and R.L was getting a bit worried the fucker was going to get back onto dry land and try to take a bite out of him, he psyched himself up to kick the living shite out of this dog as soon as it got out of the water, it broke surface again a fifth time but immediately went under again, never to resurface.
R.L then went round to his neighbours and told the bloke he'd killed it and if he got another dog he'd dump it in the canal like the first one. The bloke never got another dog and never said another word to R.L.
R.L told this story chuckling all the way through, as I say, he was a crazy fucker.
