Are you up to the test!?

So the other day I went up to my dentist for the yearly check up. I arrived a bit early so was gazing round the waiting room trying to kill time when my eyes landed on possibly the greatest poster of all time - What to do if one of your teeth gets knocked out. Jesus christ! They aren't messing about there, right to the nitty fucking gritty.

Now you'd think the first thing to do upon having a tooth knocked out would be to roll around on the floor and cry wouldn't you? But no, you are in fact supposed to put it in a glass of milk then head for the doctors. Who the fuck carries milk around with them twenty four seven? What cracked me up was how it repeatably kept saying -Do not put in disinfectant- as if people carry round both milk and disinfectant and would be in kind of quandary as to which to dunk their teeth in.

If you don't have milk on you (which I'd think quite likely) then you are supposed to put it in your mouth between your gums and you cheek, which is possibly one of the vilest images I could conjure in my mind, a broken jagged tooth resting in your mouth while it's filling with blood. As you can imagine it didn't put me in the best frame of mind for my check up.