Are you up to the test!?

* So David Beckham is writing his third auto biography, fucking hell, all the weird shite in his life he should label it fiction. Now I've not read his books and they might be good but I just can't believe they are. I reckon it probably reads along the lines of -
I used to love kicking me ball against a fence, some lads said 'Corr Dave, you could be dead famous one day' and you know what? I was.

* While im on the whole pointless book theme, who the fuck would buy Jade Goodys book? Now I know that book burning is usually a bad thing but I could make an exception on this one. She did a book signing not too long ago near where I live and she had to stop because she forgot what her own signature was. I fucking kid you not.

* My faith in humanity has been somewhat restored due to the fact that Paris Hilton has launched a music career and no one seems to give a shit or have even noticed. Fuck you Hilton, you suck. Well, we all knew that anyway, there's the video evidence to prove it.

* Has anyone seen the latest badly thought idea to rumble out of the houses of parliament? People who live together could have the same rights as a married couple. Now just fucking hold your horses. I might not want the person im living with to own half my fucking stuff, you know what im saying? Also, how the fuck would green cards work under this idea? If someones visa runs out could they just phone the home office (I don't know who the fuck they'd ring) and say 'About the visa thing, well, im shacked up with someone, so no need to go booting me out of the country'? The whole thing is just a no go.

* I was recently invited to a Bryan Adams concert of all things. I declined the offer but then what wakes me up this morning on the old radio alarm clock? Yeah, you guessed it, the Canadian music man himself. Coincidence? Almost definitely. A bit odd? Only in my mind.

* Was looking through what's on at the cinema with the girlfriend the other day, slim pickings it seemed to me but I was amazed upon reading the description for Curious George - 'The adventures of a curious monkey'. I don't know about you but that sounds to me like the best idea for a movie ever. I actually got quite giddy about going to see it but the girlfriend was just shaking her head looking appalled.

* I'd love to own a monkey.