Are you up to the test!?

I really fucking hate those adverts for sofas. The ones where you see loads of people acting like spazzes (spg?) just because they've got a sofa, you know the one '...sit on it, sleep on it, argue on it, break up on it...', throw up over it more like. I hate the level of condescension here, like we need fucking telling what to do with a sofa. Humans have had chair of one form or another for a fucking long time we don't need telling what to do with them. It's all about selling you some 'cool' lifestyle all fast paced and interesting. Why don't you just have a fast paced interesting life!

It's the same thing with buying jeans that someones already knocked ten bells of shit out of. It's a deconstructed look to make the wearer look like their all cool and interesting and get up to all kinds of wild stuff. Again, why don't you just buy regular jeans, get up to all kinds of wild stuff, then your jeans will naturally get 'deconstructed', saving you a nice little sum of money.

I know the whole coffee shop thing has been talked to death but I just want to quickly add my voice to all those that are annoyed at being regarded as a cunt for ordering a medium hot chocolate. I don't know what all your little words like grande mean in the whole small to large scheme of things and there's no reason why I should. The person serving me knows full well what size medium is.

I was burning some files on to DVD last night when I really looked for the first time at the shitty cover that comes with the blank discs. And I couldn't help thinking that it was weird how the people on the cover are all happy and smiley mid late twenty somethings as opposed to say me a bleary eyed guy burning a whole season of Family Guy. Wouldn't it be great if they put a picture of a bloke on the front snapping a disc in half because it didn't burn properly and was now fucking useless? That's something all blank DVD buyers could relate to.

It's the same thing with video tapes. Take these two to your right, notice how it's bright and the two people are sat together watching something all smiley and happy? Usually people tape things because they can't watch them at regular times, instead having to watch them first thing in the morning or just before they go to bed. Another common situation with a couple is that one of the two will love a show and they other can't fucking abide it, many a time I have to tape a program when my girlfriend is round and watch it later on my own. I know all packing and advertising distorts the truth and this is nothing compared to what some companies do but would it be so fucking crazy for the people on the covers of products to reflect reality once in a while?