Are you up to the test!?

It might come as a surprise for you to learn that im not included at many meetings where I work. Mainly because I stare out of the window counting clouds, plus during the last meeting I attended I fell asleep. After that it was decided that it would be best just to let me know the highlights afterward. What annoys me about those highlights is that for anyone whose not present it says 'apologies', I've never been sorry in my life for missing a meeting nor do I think has anyone else. What it really should say is 'jammy bastards'.

Meetings, presentations, whatever you want to call them I fucking hate them. I think it goes back to my school days when we had to do little meetings and presentations, I fucking hate talking in front of people and obviously telling teachers this will only make them want to subject you to it more (the cunts).

I don't think I've ever been in a meeting which has ever achieved anything. They've always fallen into one of two categories -

1) A general warning that something's coming up which if fucked up will mean a bollocking for everyone
2) A bollocking

People who go to meetings seem to spend the majority of their working weeks in the fuckers. No wonder nothing gets done! Last year there was a big committee type thing put together here to decide on which company to go with for some big purchase, they all spent loads of time doing all kinds of research, at the end of which they came to an agreement and showed their findings to the main bloke who was going to okay the purchase. He ignored the recommendation and went with another company because he had a mate working there. And that's what it all comes down to, it's a load of pissing about so the higher ups can show they aren't just running things without any input from the underlings (which of course they are).

The best advice I can give to those who are dragged into a meeting is to fill your pockets with as much free grub as you can.