Kids Today
Yesterday I caught myself thinking ‘Kids Today’; I’ve officially become an old bastard. But it’s not totally my fault is it? These kids are fucking abominations right?They make the stupid things I did when I was their age look like the early days of a great thinker, Darwin possibly or Newton. Maybe that one who discovered X-Rays. Anyway let me recount for you the experience which was the catalyst for this thought, as I’ll be fucked if im keeping this to myself.
So im on the bus reading my book (it’s a bit slow so far but it’s showing promise), when these two kids (14ish) come on, immediately I think ‘dickheads’ but I’ve rushed to judgment before and been wrong to do so, I decided I wouldn’t immediately hate them. After all they weren’t fucking chavs.
As soon as they’re seated one of them ( he was sat straight across from me so I couldn’t help but notice) immediately whipped a length of pink material from his pocket. His mate was impressed by this, well he said something along the lines of ‘’Ere thems fucking wicked they is’. They were shoe laces, NEON PINK SHOES LACES, at this point I again thought ‘dickheads’ but this time I was sticking to it. So dickhead number one then proceeds to take off both his white trainers, remove the original black laces and replace them with the pink. It gets worse…
With the help of Dickhead number 2 they lace the shoes in just under thirty minutes (I shit you not). After which DH 1 says ‘I dunno, they’re not too pink a’they?’ DH 2 replies ‘Nah man, all the lass’ll love ‘em’. I sincerely fucking hope not. If there is any fucking justice on this planet then that waste of organic matter will never have sex with anyone. At the very least I hope he fires blanks.
Im not some wanker whose all against men wearing pink, if you’re a straight bloke and you like the look of pink and of course you look good in it then go ahead, I care not, pink it up. If you’re into the whole gay lifestyle and like pink then you have my blessing, I pass no judgement. What winds me up is you have this lad who doesn’t even like pink whose just wearing it to impress someone else, which is the fucking lamest thing I’ve ever heard of. Not to mention the fact that pink laces looked fucking awful with the clothes he was wearing.
Why can’t people just be comfortable being who they are and have people like them for who they are? Not all people like me, quite a few dislike me a hell of a lot im sure you'll be shocked to learn, I imagine some of them could be won over if I wore neon pink laces but you know what? Fuck them, they’re not worth knowing.
I don’t know… kids today.
