Thin Ice
I wasn't going to post anything for a while but with what I'll be undertaking this evening I thought it best. I've somehow been talked into doing some ice skating, god knows how, im shitting myself. I have a full, clear image in my mind of what's going to happen, I'll put on my skates, go out onto the ice, go flying backwards cracking my neck on the ice and dying almost instantly.
The person im going skating with has years of skating experience, I on the other hand have seen Mighty Ducks, it's no comparison really is it? Laugh as they may I will be paying extra to rent out a helmet, pads and any other safety gear they'll lend me, ideally I'd like to duck tape pillows around my body.
I have no sense of balance whatsoever, seriously, if I walk from one side of a room to the other carrying a drink, half the fucking contents will be all over the carpet. In this case it'll be my brains on ice (that kinda sounds like a cool hockey/horror movie).
The person im going skating with has years of skating experience, I on the other hand have seen Mighty Ducks, it's no comparison really is it? Laugh as they may I will be paying extra to rent out a helmet, pads and any other safety gear they'll lend me, ideally I'd like to duck tape pillows around my body.Thankfully there will be ice wardens which im going to immediately make aware of my skating inability, it would probably best if they dialed 99.... and just wait for me to go sprawling.
Right off I go, if I don't post on here again it's because I've died. Nice knowing you I suppose, if by some miracle the ice gods spare me and I survive then I'll probably put something on this weekend.
Pray for me you fuckers. Please.
