Are you up to the test!?

Hey, you know what was weird?
Krillen having a full head of hair?
No, although yeah, that was weird.
Krillen having a child with an android?
No, although that too was fucked up. What I was going to say was this - wasn't it weird that Samuel L Jackson had a purple light sabre?
What?
I mean, how come he got his own colour of light sabre?
I don't known maybe he was the most powerful Jedi?
Was he bollocks. Jackson should have got a clip round and ear and told if green was good enough for Yoda then it was good enough for him.
I suppose you've got a point and why purple? It looked a bit dark, more like a Sith's sabre than a Jedi's.
It looked more lame than dark.
Yeah, how come sabres are different colours anyway?
Well, in Clone Wars you see that the Jedi's have access to a planet which has the gems required for the sabres, which are blue, green... and that shitty purple. Obviously the Sith have to go elsewhere and the gems they've got are red.
Huh. What would happen if you banged two different bits of gem in to the same sabre?
I don't know but I bet it would be awesome.
Well if you mixed a red and a blue you'd get... purple.
Mother fucker.

How about red and green? That'd give you yellow.

Yellow? Wow, a colour even naffer than purple.

I remember from my high school days that if you mix red, blue and green together you get white.

White? Are you sure?

Fairly sure. Now whites pretty badass right?

Not really, a white light sabre would just look like your standard fluorescent tube.

Hmmm, I suppose this mixing light sabre gems isn't as awesome an idea as it first seemed.

That's putting it mildly.

What are you doing?
Cutting up old calendars.
I see that, I see that, uh, why?
Im making the ultimate calendar.
The what?
The ultimate calendar.
By cutting up old calendars.
Yeah, the idea came to me yesterday. I like superheroes, hendrix, alice cooper....
All calendars you've owned before.
Exactly. So, why not merge them together to form the ultimate calendar?
Hmmm, interesting. You know, some people might say you've got a little too much spare time on your hands.
Yeah, definitely, hence the ultimate calendar.
Fair point.

Hey, happy new year! Two thousand and seven eh? And still no sight of a bloody hover board.

I got a new phone for Christmas (get me) and it came with a sim card that had five quid of credit already on it. Now if you know anything about Northern Spirit (that isn't the name of some new wave band) you'll know I couldn't bare the thought of five pounds going to waste.

Now the sim card I already had was well topped up with credit and so I was left with only one option, my mission was to use the new number and its credit but to do so quickly in case people thought it was new number and edited their contact details accordingly.

Piece of piss you say but you'd be wrong to do so as I don't like talking on the mobile and most people I text cost 3p so it's been a tremendous effort to whittle that credit down.

This whole 'Brewsters Millions' affair has almost drawn to close, im down now to just 5p and no, even with that little on it I can't walk away, blame Northern Spirit (still not a band).

Just one more text.... one more text.

I don't know how people on contract do it. My dad is on a ridiculous contract, he gets 200 minutes a month and they accumulate over time, or something of that nature. He knows less people than I do! Crazy.