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Monday, February 05, 2007 

Whedon On Wonder No More

Did you hear that Joss Whedon is no longer making the Wonder Woman movie?
Yeah I did actually, a bit weird that.
I'm annoyed as I was excited at the thought of a Wonder Woman film.
Really? I like Whedon as much as the next man but 'Wonder Woman : The Movie' sounds kinda boring to me.
Boring! It's going to be badass and if the studio is still in need of someone to fill Whedons shoes I'd happily jump in and take over.
Oh yeah? How would you make it so badass? Sell it to me.
Well I'd set her up being made out of clay and then trained to be an Amazonian warrior...
Through the magic of the montage.
Yeah the montage would factor into it, while explaining about the golden lariat and how shes linked to the gods...
You know what? This does sound boring.
Hang on I'm getting to the good stuff. So anyway, everything will be set up with Wondy while evils afoot in the shape of Hades and Ares who launch an invasion of Paradise Island.
Why?
Why what?
Why are they invading Paradise Island?
God knows, their evil, it's their job.
Okay, carry on.
Thanks, so you've Hades legions of hell equipped with gnarly shit from Ares banging heads with the Amazons, meaning you've got these beautiful, athletic women hacking and slashing skeletons and monsters to bits.
I'm liking it.
I thought you would. So the Amazons are doing well but they're being overcome by superior numbers.
Bastard. What then?
Well Wonder Woman's mum...
Hippolyta.
Yeah that's her, she tells Wondy about this badass weapon which is the islands only hope of overcoming these evil hordes aaaaaaand Wondy is the only one who can get it, it's her birthright or whatever.
Whats the weapon?
Doesn't matter, I'm thinking a sword myself although it is a little phallic and cliched.
People like phallic and cliched, so it's a quest?
More like a race against time. The Amazons defences can only hold off the evil aggressors for two days tops. In which time she must travel to the island containing aforesaid weapon, overcome challenges therein...
Challenges?
Yeah, like topple a giant, overcome a mystical trap or two, I'm really going for a Sinbad kinda feel here.
Ah, I get ya, cool.
Eventually she gets the weapon, returns with said weapon and whoops the bad guys asses.
What actually happens to Ares and Hades?
She scissor kicks Ares in the head and knees Hades in the junk, forcing their retreat but possible return in any possible sequels.
Actually... I'd go see that.
A thank you.

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