Tricks And Traps
If you had unlimited resources for one ultimate booby trap in your home, what would you opt for?
Oh now that's a good one.
Yeah I know, I'm pumped thinking about it. Try this on for size...
Go on.
A camouflaged pit in the floor. When an intruder falls through it they land on a duvet soaked in chloroform which would subdue them instantly. How's that for awesome?
That's good put it's not really making best use of your unlimited resources is it? Kevin Mcalister could whip that up.
Well I thought about something more grandiose like a huge boulder ala Indiana Jones but it wouldn't really be practical for the flat.
I've just thought of something that would A) kick ass and B) not take up much space.
I'm all ears.
I'd have a system of invisible lasers set up throughout the house which in turn are connected to a large number of web shooters mounted on the walls. If anyones stupid enough to pass through a said laser they get their their shit webbed up pronto.
That does kick ass but how about a series of mechanical arms that hold an intruder down and then tickles them? That beats your webs because it not only immobilizes the subject but also makes the immobilisation uncomfortable.
What? You think being webbed is comfortable?
Compared to being tickled? Yes. Being tickled would drive me fucking spare.
Fuck your mechanical arms...
Wow, that's some weird mental imagery.
... because I've got an even better idea.
Lets have it.
You have one of those teleporters like off Star Trek right?
Right? Which sends the intruder where? To the police station? Yawn-o-fucking-rama mate.
No it doesn't send them to the police station. It sends them to a specially prepared cell, which has ten ultra violent, mutant Orangutans in it.
.... ... Mutant?
Yeah, they've got laser vision.
Whoa. With something like that I'd almost... almost feel bad for an intruder/burglar.
