The Art Of Insulting Someone Seems Long Dead
No one can deliver a proper insult these days. Apart from yours truly obviously, I have spent days crafting the ultimate scathing remarks to place upon those who I find vulgar and offensive.
All people do these days is swear, now im a big fan of swearing, despite what some would tell you it is in fact of gigantic proportions and has an intelligence quota beyond measure. But swearing merely by itself is only a venting of frustration. If I was walking down the street and someone bumped into me and I said ‘cunt’, I wouldn’t really be calling the bloke a cunt I’d merely be labeling his action as the act of a cunt. I’ve said it because he’s interfered with my little word and im not too happy about it. If the bloke bumped into me and seemed unconcerned with the aggravation he’d caused me and I said ‘You utter cunt, get a brand new fucking eye dog before you go back out again and don’t porn this one for smut magazines and cheap cigs you fucking scally!’ That would be an insult to the gentleman in question, a little long winded I’ll grant you.
I hate it when you see two scrubbers arguing and they’re just trading one worded insults. ‘Bitch’. ‘Dickhead’. ‘Skank’. ‘Wanker’. ‘Whore’. ‘Dickhead’. Now please keep in mind that there will be a far greater period of time between these insults as the scrubbers in question consult their internal profanity rolodex for the next witty barb to send flying in their victims direction than it takes you to read them.
‘She is a Peacock in every way but beauty’, Oscar Wilde wrote that and what a topping fucking insult it is, I wish I could produce those off the cuff. It sums up totally what he thinks of the lady in question, she dolls herself up to the eyes, thinks greatly of herself but in fact she’s a fucking minger. Sometimes I wish old Oscar was alive today and was a friend of mine (soley in the platonic sense) just to witness his earth shattering put downs.
All im trying to say really is next time someones annoyed you don’t sink to the level of your common chav, try elevating the insult to the grand status, it’s not like it costs you anything. I’ve found an effective insult tool is just plain facts delivered in the bluntest fashion possible ‘You know something? You really annoy me’. That’s effective, it says what you want to say and the sheer bluntness to it will probably stun you’re target leaving them unable of any riposte.
In the spirit of the post I’ll say this... fuck the lot of ya!
