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Saturday, September 23, 2006 

A Shit Situation

I was at a party recently that I enjoyed tremendously, however, it has recently come to light that events occurred that now make it interesting to blog about.

A girl at said party stayed over due to hammering down a bottle of Lambrini, the boyfriend having work the next day couldn't face the challenge of looking after her. A friend of mine also stayed over, his reason being that he's a social misfit. Anyway, the next day he gets up and is sleeping on the floor in the front room, the girl was sleeping on the sofa but is now gone.

The first thing that hits him is a terrible smell, he looks over at the vacated sofa and in between the sheets of the girls resting place is a big turd. A fucking turd, can you believe it?

What gets me about this story is that everyone knows she was there, yet shes got up, put her shoes on and legged it, leaving the evidence behind. You'd take the sheets with you and clean them wouldn't you? Even better, you'd throw them away and buy them some new sheets.

It gets weirder when you consider that the girl has yet to bring this subject up and has come out again since. Like, shes pooed on someones sofa then met up with them for a drink and no one has brought up the brown incident.

Even if you did run out due to panic you'd surely phone them up and apologise and offer to pay for cleaning expenses etc... But no, infact the hosts feel bad at the idea of bringing the subject up. Very odd.

On a side note :

The turd ended up going all over the sofa when it slid off during the pick up of the sheets. Even after numerous scrubbings the cat still refuses to go into the front room.

You mean you didn't gift wrap the pooh to present to her the next time she came out with you guys? Tupper ware makes excellent presentation box.

Just go up and ask her if she has shat her pants recently?

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