I yearn for the death of a salesman.
No im not talking about the Arthur Miller play, I literally want some sales people to die, hopefully a lot of them, hopefully involving a trident.
The other day I was chilling out, getting nicely drunk and listening to Johnny Cash when the phone rings, annoyed I get up and answer the phone 'Hello, im from dip shit marketing and I want to waste an hour of your time with graded questions', im a nice guy if you haven't figured so my reply was 'Actually im pretty drunk right now' and I proceed to hang up but as im pulling the phone away from my ear I hear (hey that rhymes!) 'Thats okay, your information is still important to us'.
Are you getting that, they want the information from drunk people!!!! There's been a boardroom meeting where some asshat has said 'Yeah keep them on the phone even if they're drunk', is nothing sacred to these people!!!!?????'. That's why adverts suck balls now, they're getting feedback from people who are off their heads.
My friend was moving home, she's hauling this TV to her car when this creep walking down the street starts trying to sell her broadband, going off on all these offers, number one he's ignoring the fact she struggling like hell to open her car door while holding a TV and number two he's ignoring the fact she's leaving house with a big SOLD sign. Honestly what a goddam tool, she tells him she's gota go and he tells her he'll be back tomorrow, tomorrow she's living somewhere else but that doesn't deter the guy, crazy.
In a similar vein, one time im walking through Leeds, this fairly cute girl says hello so I stop walking, obviously. She goes off on this whole thing about being an organ donor, im running late as it is to meet some friends, I apologise tell her I gota meet people and she yells after me 'You could have an accident on your way there!', jesus, thanks for that. Why do the find the worst people to deal with the public.
The worst time ever has to be while back, I was watching an amazing episode of Sailor Moon and the phone goes and its this guy after some dude who sold his soul to these scum years ago but was wise enough to move home, they always ring me always, so anyways I go ballistic telling them he doesn't live here, take him off whatever list you've got, including this phone number or im going to get those watchdog guys on you. The next day some other cretin phones asking for the guy, I could literally choke the life out of this person if they were in the room.
And what's worse than when those goddam 'cold callers' ring at work, you tell the to go screw themselves, your boss hears and your in all this trouble, geez, you can't win. These asshats are stealing your work time, you'd think people would be happy you were defending it so strongly.
So in summation, if your one of these people who disturb people in the hopes of selling them something or getting some info from them, you serve no function in the world and should kill yourself.
Now that, that was enjoyable.
The other day I was chilling out, getting nicely drunk and listening to Johnny Cash when the phone rings, annoyed I get up and answer the phone 'Hello, im from dip shit marketing and I want to waste an hour of your time with graded questions', im a nice guy if you haven't figured so my reply was 'Actually im pretty drunk right now' and I proceed to hang up but as im pulling the phone away from my ear I hear (hey that rhymes!) 'Thats okay, your information is still important to us'.
Are you getting that, they want the information from drunk people!!!! There's been a boardroom meeting where some asshat has said 'Yeah keep them on the phone even if they're drunk', is nothing sacred to these people!!!!?????'. That's why adverts suck balls now, they're getting feedback from people who are off their heads.
My friend was moving home, she's hauling this TV to her car when this creep walking down the street starts trying to sell her broadband, going off on all these offers, number one he's ignoring the fact she struggling like hell to open her car door while holding a TV and number two he's ignoring the fact she's leaving house with a big SOLD sign. Honestly what a goddam tool, she tells him she's gota go and he tells her he'll be back tomorrow, tomorrow she's living somewhere else but that doesn't deter the guy, crazy.
In a similar vein, one time im walking through Leeds, this fairly cute girl says hello so I stop walking, obviously. She goes off on this whole thing about being an organ donor, im running late as it is to meet some friends, I apologise tell her I gota meet people and she yells after me 'You could have an accident on your way there!', jesus, thanks for that. Why do the find the worst people to deal with the public.
The worst time ever has to be while back, I was watching an amazing episode of Sailor Moon and the phone goes and its this guy after some dude who sold his soul to these scum years ago but was wise enough to move home, they always ring me always, so anyways I go ballistic telling them he doesn't live here, take him off whatever list you've got, including this phone number or im going to get those watchdog guys on you. The next day some other cretin phones asking for the guy, I could literally choke the life out of this person if they were in the room.
And what's worse than when those goddam 'cold callers' ring at work, you tell the to go screw themselves, your boss hears and your in all this trouble, geez, you can't win. These asshats are stealing your work time, you'd think people would be happy you were defending it so strongly.
So in summation, if your one of these people who disturb people in the hopes of selling them something or getting some info from them, you serve no function in the world and should kill yourself.
Now that, that was enjoyable.
