The top 5 comic book characters to go drinking with
This post was going to be how Hollywood keeps making lousy films based off comic book characters just because its the 'in thing' at the moment, which pisses comic book fans off to no end but its kind of a heavy rant and im in a light hearted mood.
Okay, before we start, this is not the top 5 comic book characters to have sex with, after reading this I don't want anyone going 'These are all guys! Homo! lol!'. What im ranking characters on is their abilities as a drinking buddy, wingman etc.....
Also please note that some characters are out of the running, the list is far too large to type out but just a taster of those that didn't make it are -
*Wolverine - I know, he's a kick ass guy, he's had way more than his fair share of booze and women and generally a good guy. However, the first thing is that with his healing factor he'll have to be drinking all night to be as wasted as you, seriously, he'll have to have 6 bottles of Jack Daniels before he feels anything, much like Slash from Guns and Roses, or Velvet Revolver if your with the times. So by the time he's drunk the night is over, not good. Secondly, if for some reason he should become unconscious (maybe he drinks straight meths all night or perhaps Sabretooth jumps him) with the adamantium inside him he's going to weigh more than you're capable of carrying and its going to be weird explaining to people why you can't move one 5'6 dude all by yourself.
*Any Kryptonian - So that's Superman, Supergirl, Superboy or even that fucking Superdog. These guys can shrug of missiles, hell they can fly into the sun and come back with just a mild tan. They would have to be drinking weeks in advance to even get a slight buzz and there's no way im organised enough to arrange that.
*Daredevil - The guys blind. I know that seems harsh but as your buddie its his job to make sure you don't start making out with some ugly girl and he wont be able to determine the woman's looks one way or another. If anyone wants to start going off about his sonar then I have to reply that in a busy club with music/people talking it would be next to useless.
Okay then, lets begin the top 5 comic book characters to go drinking with;
At Number 5 - The Flash
This was almost the Human Torch, I figured we order up some flaming sambucas but get the Torch to do the flaming himself and all the bar will be lapping it up but then I figured he may pose a fire risk. The Flash beats the Torch for a number of reason, number one, if at the last minute, maybe after a shitty day at work, you phone him up, suggest going for a few drinks *BAM* he's at the bar before you are. On top of that if he gets drunk he can move really fast, thereby speeding up his metabolism and removing the booze from his bloodstream. Could be very handy. The Flash is full of confidence and will be psyching you up for girls or pulling a honey himself, as well as quickly becoming friends with the whole bar, and you get the reflected glory.
I don't think I even have to mention the benefits of going drinking with the Flash and then being stuck without a lift home.
Number 4 - Mr.T
Okay, before anyone starts accusing me of picking a non-comic book character, back off, I was in a comic book store the other day and I clearly saw a Mr.T comic book.
I challenge you to find someone who doesn't like BA, if you manage to find that dude, get him to talk to Mr.T himself, I bet after 5 seconds the guy is kissing his ass and begging him to say 'I pity the fool'.
Also Mr.T could probably help you hook up with a black chick.
Number 3 - Lex Luthor
What's this I hear? Booing and hissing? The first and only super villain in the top 5, I don't care if he's a bad guy, hell I don't care if he's got a Kryptonite ring on every finger, this guy would be cool to hang out with.
The guys loaded beyond belief, you go to a club with this guy, he gets in a few rounds and your going to be drinking the best stuff on the planet, add to that you start talking to any girls and you tell them they can come back to '...my friends mansion', your getting laid just on reflected glory, no two ways about it. On top of that when drunk im sure he'll let slip some stock tip which will make you richer than your wildest dreams. You'll notice the top 3 characters are all very wealthy, not my fault, you will have an awesome night in the presence of these dudes.
Number 2 - Professor X
Similar in a few ways to Lex, he's bald, he's loaded but there is so much more to the Professor... he's paralysed from the waist down. Now don't be shocked, stay with me for a second, if you go to any club/bar.... wherever, they are not going to turn you away when your wheeling in a guy in a wheelchair, its not going to happen. And when your in the club/bar, you can wheel the Professor anywhere you dam well please, without even saying excuse me, you can park in the most crowded area and stand strong as long as you want, I've seen this happen. Should any trouble occur during the night the Professor can put the mental kabosh on whoever's being a tool, how cool is that? Add on the fact he's loaded and owns a mansion and you have an amazingly close contender for number 1, which brings us to....
Number 1 - Iron Man
Now I wonder how many people saw this one coming, yes Tony Stark or the Invincible Iron Man is number one. Either going somewhere with Tony Stark or Iron Man is going to get you noticed. As Tony he's rich as hell and can pay his way into anywhere, as Iron Man no ones going to mess with him. Now what puts him at number one? The fact that he's a huge alcoholic, I would love to see a fully armored killing machine demanding a drink and being refused, call me twisted. So you get all the advantages of a super rich guy, a super powerful guy and you'll always look good as his understanding friend helping him through his alcohol addiction.
And there you have it, after hearing all these comic book advantages you know why Alicia Masters dates the Thing, why Rick James hangs out with the Hulk and why Lois Lane runs the risk of being ripped in half each time she gets it on with Superman. That's right, comic book characters rule.
Till next time old chums!
Okay, before we start, this is not the top 5 comic book characters to have sex with, after reading this I don't want anyone going 'These are all guys! Homo! lol!'. What im ranking characters on is their abilities as a drinking buddy, wingman etc.....
Also please note that some characters are out of the running, the list is far too large to type out but just a taster of those that didn't make it are -
*Wolverine - I know, he's a kick ass guy, he's had way more than his fair share of booze and women and generally a good guy. However, the first thing is that with his healing factor he'll have to be drinking all night to be as wasted as you, seriously, he'll have to have 6 bottles of Jack Daniels before he feels anything, much like Slash from Guns and Roses, or Velvet Revolver if your with the times. So by the time he's drunk the night is over, not good. Secondly, if for some reason he should become unconscious (maybe he drinks straight meths all night or perhaps Sabretooth jumps him) with the adamantium inside him he's going to weigh more than you're capable of carrying and its going to be weird explaining to people why you can't move one 5'6 dude all by yourself.
*Any Kryptonian - So that's Superman, Supergirl, Superboy or even that fucking Superdog. These guys can shrug of missiles, hell they can fly into the sun and come back with just a mild tan. They would have to be drinking weeks in advance to even get a slight buzz and there's no way im organised enough to arrange that.
*Daredevil - The guys blind. I know that seems harsh but as your buddie its his job to make sure you don't start making out with some ugly girl and he wont be able to determine the woman's looks one way or another. If anyone wants to start going off about his sonar then I have to reply that in a busy club with music/people talking it would be next to useless.
Okay then, lets begin the top 5 comic book characters to go drinking with;
At Number 5 - The Flash
This was almost the Human Torch, I figured we order up some flaming sambucas but get the Torch to do the flaming himself and all the bar will be lapping it up but then I figured he may pose a fire risk. The Flash beats the Torch for a number of reason, number one, if at the last minute, maybe after a shitty day at work, you phone him up, suggest going for a few drinks *BAM* he's at the bar before you are. On top of that if he gets drunk he can move really fast, thereby speeding up his metabolism and removing the booze from his bloodstream. Could be very handy. The Flash is full of confidence and will be psyching you up for girls or pulling a honey himself, as well as quickly becoming friends with the whole bar, and you get the reflected glory.
I don't think I even have to mention the benefits of going drinking with the Flash and then being stuck without a lift home.
Number 4 - Mr.T
Okay, before anyone starts accusing me of picking a non-comic book character, back off, I was in a comic book store the other day and I clearly saw a Mr.T comic book.
I challenge you to find someone who doesn't like BA, if you manage to find that dude, get him to talk to Mr.T himself, I bet after 5 seconds the guy is kissing his ass and begging him to say 'I pity the fool'.
Also Mr.T could probably help you hook up with a black chick.
Number 3 - Lex Luthor
What's this I hear? Booing and hissing? The first and only super villain in the top 5, I don't care if he's a bad guy, hell I don't care if he's got a Kryptonite ring on every finger, this guy would be cool to hang out with.
The guys loaded beyond belief, you go to a club with this guy, he gets in a few rounds and your going to be drinking the best stuff on the planet, add to that you start talking to any girls and you tell them they can come back to '...my friends mansion', your getting laid just on reflected glory, no two ways about it. On top of that when drunk im sure he'll let slip some stock tip which will make you richer than your wildest dreams. You'll notice the top 3 characters are all very wealthy, not my fault, you will have an awesome night in the presence of these dudes.
Number 2 - Professor X
Similar in a few ways to Lex, he's bald, he's loaded but there is so much more to the Professor... he's paralysed from the waist down. Now don't be shocked, stay with me for a second, if you go to any club/bar.... wherever, they are not going to turn you away when your wheeling in a guy in a wheelchair, its not going to happen. And when your in the club/bar, you can wheel the Professor anywhere you dam well please, without even saying excuse me, you can park in the most crowded area and stand strong as long as you want, I've seen this happen. Should any trouble occur during the night the Professor can put the mental kabosh on whoever's being a tool, how cool is that? Add on the fact he's loaded and owns a mansion and you have an amazingly close contender for number 1, which brings us to....
Number 1 - Iron Man
Now I wonder how many people saw this one coming, yes Tony Stark or the Invincible Iron Man is number one. Either going somewhere with Tony Stark or Iron Man is going to get you noticed. As Tony he's rich as hell and can pay his way into anywhere, as Iron Man no ones going to mess with him. Now what puts him at number one? The fact that he's a huge alcoholic, I would love to see a fully armored killing machine demanding a drink and being refused, call me twisted. So you get all the advantages of a super rich guy, a super powerful guy and you'll always look good as his understanding friend helping him through his alcohol addiction.
And there you have it, after hearing all these comic book advantages you know why Alicia Masters dates the Thing, why Rick James hangs out with the Hulk and why Lois Lane runs the risk of being ripped in half each time she gets it on with Superman. That's right, comic book characters rule.
Till next time old chums!
Liam you are so predictable! how did i know that your blog would feature superheroes somewhere. Hey ho, thats life. Hope you're going to include harry potter somewhere!
Your sis x
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